Fickle is as fickle does..

Watching: Bones, "The Man In the SUV" (there's a Bones marathon on right now)
Mood: concerned

(I find persimmons disgusting, but I like this picture. From the Chosun Ilbo.)

Hrm. Dilemma.

I didn't see Bear at all last weekend because I had a paper for anthropology which kept me busy. And honestly, I was glad of it.

It's exhausting, avoiding people. And I have no rational reason for avoiding him except that I have absolutely no interest in this and I don't want to lead him on or anything.

So, back to my dilemma.

He texted me sometime today, asking how I would feel if he cooked dinner for me this coming Friday.

..how do I let him down easy? I don't want to hurt him, because he's a nice guy, but I don't want to make him hate me.

I suck at confrontation. Gah.


Besides, I'm developing a crush on another guy. And by "developing," I mean "have already developed."

It's a mild crush, considering we've only ever really interacted two or three times. He's in my history class, and he sits directly across the room from me (we're arranged in a semi-circle). I always catch him looking in my direction, and while sometimes I know he's looking at me (it's a natural human reaction, since I watch people too), I don't know if it's deliberate or just his attention wandering.

But anyway. We were paired up in class together last week to prepare for a class discussion on a document, and he seems really nice. I feel like he's shy too, haha. :P And yesterday when I was working on my anthro paper in the library, he was there working on the history paper we have due on Friday. I didn't realize it was him when I sat down (he was facing away from me and had changed his shirt since class that morning), but he recognized me and came over to say hello. We even chatted for a little while about our papers, and then quietly settled into companionable silence near each other as we worked.

We also passed each other on the sidewalk today. He was walking with another girl (they didn't seem overly close, so I'm guessing they're just friends), but we smiled and said hi to each other before going on our way.

I don't know. He's younger than me, but he's cute, and he speaks up in class more than I do. Violinist has another class with him, and she says he's really nice. (I also think he's a transfer student, because I'd never seen him before this year. Hrm.)

Whatevs. I doubt anything will come of it. This is just me being me.

However, just for the sake of my love of code names, and because I'll probably mention him at least once more before the end of the semester, I'm going to dub him..Hawkeye. (I don't know him well enough to give him a distinctive one of his own, so I resorted to this Codename Generator. I know, I'm lame awesome.)