Mood: in love
(A fan shot of the stage. Brian's off to the right. I'm further to the right, not too far from him, just off-camera.)
I saw my future husband on Friday night. :D
I went to the One Korea concert on Friday night, and it was AWESOME. I was one of the only non-Koreans in attendance (I think there were around 10 of us total), so all the tiny Korean girls (who then seemed even shorter because I was wearing heels) were staring at me, wondering who the hell I was and why I was there. I could understand everything they were saying, though, so I was more amused than disconcerted. JayJ and I passed the time in the line by grading papers from her math classes (she student teaches) and joking about how dumb her students are. (Princess decided not to come with us.)
The concert hall was the main auditorium of the Christian Heritage Academy, so there was only an 880-person capacity. We didn't even fill it all the way, though, so I estimate that there were perhaps 500-600 or so in attendance. JayJ and I got pretty good seats on the right side of the auditorium, 10 rows or so back. There was no one sitting directly in front of me, so I got a great view--perfect for taking pictures and video! (I'll post them when JayJ uploads them.)
First up was Kil Gun, who sang (and danced) 태양의 나라(Do It) (Country of the Sun (Do It)). It was a rather explosive beginning to the concert, and everyone clapped along enthusiastically. I'd told JayJ before the concert that Kil Gun was awesome, and this song made her agree with me. Then Kil Gun performed Wine X 3, after teaching us the hand gestures to go with the chorus. That was quite fun, and the hand gestures are adorable (they're a series of hearts), and Kil Gun was adorable as she was teaching them to us. Then she performed 흔들어봐 (Shake It), which is her big song. That woman is awesome. Her voice was great, her stage presence was great, her boots were killer, and her dancing! Holy hell, I wish I could move like her. She was like an undulating snake of sex. (Videos to come after JayJ uploads them. I can't find any on Youtube.)
After Kil Gun performed, we were surprised with a documentary on the Korean War. Apparently this was a propaganda concert and nobody had told us (although the pamphlets on unification we were given as we entered should probably have been our first clue). JayJ and I were shocked and amused, because on the way to the venue earlier we had been joking that it was a propaganda concert to try to convince everyone to love Korea. We were sort of close..
After the documentary, it was Soy's turn to perform. Soy is apparently an actress who writes songs with a band she formed. She's also fluent in Korean, English, and Chinese (!!), so she joked around for a little in all three languages. (I was so proud of myself for understanding most of what she said.) Soy's musical style was more indie, but no less good, and she herself was really adorable. (I only took one video, and I can't find any on Youtube, so you'll have to wait.)
After Soy, we were treated to ANOTHER documentary, about how the North Korean government is mistreating its citizens. It was really depressing, and Soy came back out to talk to us about it afterwards. Then she sang an encore song which was cute, but I don't remember what it was called.
Soy left the stage again, and there was immediately a loud, shrieking chorus of "BRIAN!!!!" from all of the fangirls. JayJ and I laughed really loudly at that (fangirls are hilarious), and even louder when the MC came out and told them that we weren't going to see Brian just yet. (Bahaha!) Why not? Because of yet another documentary, of course! This one was on South Korean policy towards unification, and it was boring as hell. I don't remember any of it, honestly. Then we had to fill out a survey in order to win prizes (money or a trip to Korea).
And THEN, it was Brian's turn.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.
My future husband. I swear to God, I'm going to marry that man.
One thing you don't get from the variety shows is that Brian is SEXY. Like, seriously hot. I've always found him to be rather spazztastic and adorable, but never sexy. Ohhhhhh how wrong I was.
Brian came out, with his purple scarf and his purple sneakers, and performed 가지마 (Don't Go). He had backup dancers, and the screens behind him had lyrics (none of the other performers got karaoke lyrics for their songs), and he just oozed sex appeal. Freaking fantastic. His mic was turned off at first, but he didn't let it phase him and just fiddled with it until it worked, still dancing the entire time.
After the first song, he took a break to say hello to everyone. He was so very charming too, pretending confusion when he said "I was actually watching backstage, and I was kinda disappointed at first because it felt like everybody was just down and out of everything and then I come out here and everybody's just hyped up!" The fangirls were screaming and falling all over themselves, and he loved every minute of it.
Then, he performed 가슴 아파도 (Even Though My Heart Hurts) from the Fashion 70s soundtrack. EVERYONE knew this song, including me, and we all sang along. Great song, great voice, great stage presence.
(I was a little behind and to the left of the girl taking that video.)
After his first song, one of the stagehands gave Brian some flowers, and he talked to the audience for a little while. There was a really cute moment where he discovered that the youngest audience member was 5, which made everyone laugh.
Next he performed a song called I Stand from his upcoming Christian album, out in February. Despite the ridiculous uber-Christianness of it (I have no problem with faith, but overtly God-tastic lyrics are always annoying), it was actually a rather lovely ballad, and Brian was definitely into it. Plus, he made us sing along, which was fun. (He was a little flat on occasion, but I let it slide.)
Afterwards, he simply said, "Thanks everyone, and good night!" and left the stage. We were all astounded--that was it? Really?
No, not really. Oh sneaky Brian, you just wanted to give us an encore. After several calls of "앵코" (encore), he came running back out to perform 닮아가기 (Becoming Similar), from his first solo album. (It's obvious they had planned the encore, because there were karaoke lyrics for this song too.) I freaking LOVE that song, so I was singing along very enthusiastically. As he was wandering to all the sides of the stage, looking at the audience, I swear he made eye contact with me. Sustained eye contact. Granted, this is probably because (a) I was one of the only white people in that section, and (b) I was singing along rather enthusiastically, but still. I swear my heart stopped for a second. I nearly died, although I think I hid it well.
(The moment of sustained eye contact is towards the end of the second clip, around 1:20, as he's walking to my side of the stage. I'm about 6 or 7 people to the right of where the view gets cut off, on the opposite side of the stage from the girl taking the video.)
Then he left the stage for real, and everyone started to leave. Obviously they were only there for Brian, so there was no point in staying any longer, right? Haha, wrong. Because after the concert, they had prize drawings, and they made Brian, Soy, and Kil Gun draw the names for the prizes. One girl ended up standing right in front of Brian after she won her $500 prize, and her friends sitting behind us were freaking out. It was hilarious, especially since Brian looked like he didn't care at all.
To close out the night, they made us sing some Korean anthem. I thought it might have been the national anthem, but it didn't sound like it, so I have no idea what it was. The performers thought it was ridiculous too, and Brian tried to liven it up by putting his arms around Kil Gun and Soy and making them sway with him. It was rather adorable, actually.
Afterwards, JayJ and I deliberated about whether or not we wanted to go to the after party. We figured out that the buses would stop running in three hours, which would give us only an hour in the club (it was an hour drive to get there in the first place), so we decided to go back to her place and find somewhere closer to go to. JayJ called one of her local friends, and we headed out to a club called Smart Bar, near the Addison stop on the Red Line. Let me just tell you, if you're looking for a club, don't go there. $12 cover charge, $6(!!) beer, and crap house music. Impossible to dance to. We left after only about 30 minutes, and then had to make the 30-40 minute commute back to JayJ' place. Then JayJ's friend went home, and JayJ and I made some food and crashed.
I wish now that we had gone to the after party at the Republic. I know for a fact that Brian was there (he mentioned that he was going on his Twitter, and several people saw him there hanging out with his bodyguards), and I've heard that club is awesome. I would've gladly driven, since I'm not much of a drinker. And then perhaps I may have been able to verify whether or not Brian actually made eye contact with me, and maybe even have danced with him. (I doubt it, but you never know.) Or, y'know, danced at all.
Oh well.
As I was driving back home the next day, I found myself suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, and I burst into tears. I have no idea why, but I cried for at least 20 minutes as I was driving down I-55, immediately outside Chicago. It was joy, it was excitement, it was sadness, it was disappointment, it was confusion.. It was every emotion I'd had pent up since the night before. Joy that I'd gotten to see a good concert, excitement that my dreams of going to Korea might not be so far-fetched, sadness that I hadn't gotten to go to the after party, confusion and disappointment that Brian wasn't what I'd imagined.
Is it weird that I feel closer to Brian now that I've seen him in concert? I feel like I have a better idea of the real him. The uber-Christian, self-confident and self-aware Brian that doesn't appear on variety shows. Brian the variety show guest is loose, funny, and a spazz, willing to make a fool of himself for the laughs. Brian the performer is much more conscious and calculating, well aware of every move he makes and every syllable that comes out of his mouth. He knows how to drive the fangirls wild (there were super-sexy hip movements involved, and the grabbing of a random fan's hand), how to work the stage, how to be a performer. As well he should--he's been doing this for ten years now, since he was 17.
All of my prior thoughts about Brian have been thrown out the window. I now have to wrap my mind around a new concept of him, one which has apparently stolen my heart.
I didn't expect this reaction from myself. I thought I'd go to the concert, have a great time, and leave happy that I'd had a little slice of Kpop culture that night.
I didn't expect to be so terribly smitten, to fall hard and fast for this performer I've known about for years.
I need to write him a fanletter. I won't wax poetic to him about how much I adore him now, but I want him to know that I thought he was amazing, and that I'm looking forward to his new albums, and that anytime he wants to perform in Chicago, I'll be there.
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