Music: Dishwalla - Until I Wake Up
Mood: confused
Today, I found myself in a dilemma.
It's been awhile since I've updated this blog, so here's what's going on:
Two weeks ago, I joined an online dating site as a joke. Turns out, I'm extremely popular there. Although I've received messages from dozens of guys, there are two that have stood out to me, and it is these two guys with whom I have spent the most time talking.
Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts
20 November 2009
06 November 2009
Emotional maturity? What's that?
Music: 2PM - 기다리다가 지친다 (2PM - Tired of Waiting)
Mood: conflicted and fickle
(Because you can never have enough Jokwon gifs.)
I over think everything.
My emotions are way too easily swayed.
Not by external forces, but by my own mind.
I hate myself for this.
FOCUS.
That is all.
Mood: conflicted and fickle
(Because you can never have enough Jokwon gifs.)
I over think everything.
My emotions are way too easily swayed.
Not by external forces, but by my own mind.
I hate myself for this.
FOCUS.
That is all.
01 November 2009
Live report: One Korea with Brian, Kil Gun, and Soy (or, how Kara fell in love)
Music: Brian - 가슴 아파도...
Mood: in love
(A fan shot of the stage. Brian's off to the right. I'm further to the right, not too far from him, just off-camera.)
I saw my future husband on Friday night. :D
I went to the One Korea concert on Friday night, and it was AWESOME. I was one of the only non-Koreans in attendance (I think there were around 10 of us total), so all the tiny Korean girls (who then seemed even shorter because I was wearing heels) were staring at me, wondering who the hell I was and why I was there. I could understand everything they were saying, though, so I was more amused than disconcerted. JayJ and I passed the time in the line by grading papers from her math classes (she student teaches) and joking about how dumb her students are. (Princess decided not to come with us.)
The concert hall was the main auditorium of the Christian Heritage Academy, so there was only an 880-person capacity. We didn't even fill it all the way, though, so I estimate that there were perhaps 500-600 or so in attendance. JayJ and I got pretty good seats on the right side of the auditorium, 10 rows or so back. There was no one sitting directly in front of me, so I got a great view--perfect for taking pictures and video! (I'll post them when JayJ uploads them.)
Mood: in love
(A fan shot of the stage. Brian's off to the right. I'm further to the right, not too far from him, just off-camera.)
I saw my future husband on Friday night. :D
I went to the One Korea concert on Friday night, and it was AWESOME. I was one of the only non-Koreans in attendance (I think there were around 10 of us total), so all the tiny Korean girls (who then seemed even shorter because I was wearing heels) were staring at me, wondering who the hell I was and why I was there. I could understand everything they were saying, though, so I was more amused than disconcerted. JayJ and I passed the time in the line by grading papers from her math classes (she student teaches) and joking about how dumb her students are. (Princess decided not to come with us.)
The concert hall was the main auditorium of the Christian Heritage Academy, so there was only an 880-person capacity. We didn't even fill it all the way, though, so I estimate that there were perhaps 500-600 or so in attendance. JayJ and I got pretty good seats on the right side of the auditorium, 10 rows or so back. There was no one sitting directly in front of me, so I got a great view--perfect for taking pictures and video! (I'll post them when JayJ uploads them.)
20 October 2009
Fickle is as fickle does..
Watching: Bones, "The Man In the SUV" (there's a Bones marathon on right now)
Mood: concerned
Hrm. Dilemma.
I didn't see Bear at all last weekend because I had a paper for anthropology which kept me busy. And honestly, I was glad of it.
It's exhausting, avoiding people. And I have no rational reason for avoiding him except that I have absolutely no interest in this and I don't want to lead him on or anything.
So, back to my dilemma.
He texted me sometime today, asking how I would feel if he cooked dinner for me this coming Friday.
..how do I let him down easy? I don't want to hurt him, because he's a nice guy, but I don't want to make him hate me.
I suck at confrontation. Gah.
Besides, I'm developing a crush on another guy. And by "developing," I mean "have already developed."
It's a mild crush, considering we've only ever really interacted two or three times. He's in my history class, and he sits directly across the room from me (we're arranged in a semi-circle). I always catch him looking in my direction, and while sometimes I know he's looking at me (it's a natural human reaction, since I watch people too), I don't know if it's deliberate or just his attention wandering.
But anyway. We were paired up in class together last week to prepare for a class discussion on a document, and he seems really nice. I feel like he's shy too, haha. :P And yesterday when I was working on my anthro paper in the library, he was there working on the history paper we have due on Friday. I didn't realize it was him when I sat down (he was facing away from me and had changed his shirt since class that morning), but he recognized me and came over to say hello. We even chatted for a little while about our papers, and then quietly settled into companionable silence near each other as we worked.
We also passed each other on the sidewalk today. He was walking with another girl (they didn't seem overly close, so I'm guessing they're just friends), but we smiled and said hi to each other before going on our way.
I don't know. He's younger than me, but he's cute, and he speaks up in class more than I do. Violinist has another class with him, and she says he's really nice. (I also think he's a transfer student, because I'd never seen him before this year. Hrm.)
Whatevs. I doubt anything will come of it. This is just me being me.
However, just for the sake of my love of code names, and because I'll probably mention him at least once more before the end of the semester, I'm going to dub him..Hawkeye. (I don't know him well enough to give him a distinctive one of his own, so I resorted to this Codename Generator. I know, I'mlame awesome.)
Mood: concerned
Hrm. Dilemma.
I didn't see Bear at all last weekend because I had a paper for anthropology which kept me busy. And honestly, I was glad of it.
It's exhausting, avoiding people. And I have no rational reason for avoiding him except that I have absolutely no interest in this and I don't want to lead him on or anything.
So, back to my dilemma.
He texted me sometime today, asking how I would feel if he cooked dinner for me this coming Friday.
..how do I let him down easy? I don't want to hurt him, because he's a nice guy, but I don't want to make him hate me.
I suck at confrontation. Gah.
Besides, I'm developing a crush on another guy. And by "developing," I mean "have already developed."
It's a mild crush, considering we've only ever really interacted two or three times. He's in my history class, and he sits directly across the room from me (we're arranged in a semi-circle). I always catch him looking in my direction, and while sometimes I know he's looking at me (it's a natural human reaction, since I watch people too), I don't know if it's deliberate or just his attention wandering.
But anyway. We were paired up in class together last week to prepare for a class discussion on a document, and he seems really nice. I feel like he's shy too, haha. :P And yesterday when I was working on my anthro paper in the library, he was there working on the history paper we have due on Friday. I didn't realize it was him when I sat down (he was facing away from me and had changed his shirt since class that morning), but he recognized me and came over to say hello. We even chatted for a little while about our papers, and then quietly settled into companionable silence near each other as we worked.
We also passed each other on the sidewalk today. He was walking with another girl (they didn't seem overly close, so I'm guessing they're just friends), but we smiled and said hi to each other before going on our way.
I don't know. He's younger than me, but he's cute, and he speaks up in class more than I do. Violinist has another class with him, and she says he's really nice. (I also think he's a transfer student, because I'd never seen him before this year. Hrm.)
Whatevs. I doubt anything will come of it. This is just me being me.
However, just for the sake of my love of code names, and because I'll probably mention him at least once more before the end of the semester, I'm going to dub him..Hawkeye. (I don't know him well enough to give him a distinctive one of his own, so I resorted to this Codename Generator. I know, I'm
12 October 2009
"What will it take to make or break this hint of love? / Only time.."
Music: Owl City - The Saltwater Room
Mood: giddy
("In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.")
Took Bear up on his offer and went to go hang out at Battle Axe's apartment (where Bear is staying for the weekend) to watch a movie and stuff.
There was fun, laughter, conversation, singing, and Boondock Saints.
He also finally put his arm around my shoulders, 1 1/2 hours after I got there.
It stayed there for another hour.
He drove me home at around 1am.
Walked me to the door like a gentleman.
And asked permission to kiss me goodnight.
I said yes.
..his lips are soft.
Mood: giddy
("In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.")
Took Bear up on his offer and went to go hang out at Battle Axe's apartment (where Bear is staying for the weekend) to watch a movie and stuff.
There was fun, laughter, conversation, singing, and Boondock Saints.
He also finally put his arm around my shoulders, 1 1/2 hours after I got there.
It stayed there for another hour.
He drove me home at around 1am.
Walked me to the door like a gentleman.
And asked permission to kiss me goodnight.
I said yes.
..his lips are soft.
11 October 2009
"If you awake before we arrive I will carry you down and I won't make a sound."
Music: Owl City - Air Traffic
Mood: confused
You know that saying, "When it rains it pours"?
I'm sort of living that right now.
I'm still not completely over that whole mess of emotion that I wrote about previously, but it's faded enough for me to be open to other things. Which is good, since something I never saw coming is happening.
So. My roommate from last year (whom I'll call Whittles) had a pseudo-boyfriend for a few weeks during the fall semester. (I'm going to call him Bear, since he reminds me of a teddy bear.) I got to meet him a couple of times, and I instantly took a platonic liking to him--after all, he sort of belonged to my roommate, even though they were only casually dating. I thought he was a really nice guy, though, and I genuinely enjoyed his company. After my roommate called it off, though, I decided not to pursue a real friendship with him because (a) that's awkward, (b) I would never really see him around on campus anyway, and (c) I was distracted by drama in my own life at the time.
Well, one of my friends had a potluck last night. Rita made broccoli, while I made my fool-gogi again, and we headed over there expecting it to be mostly people connected only through this friend. To my surprise, though, I heard that Bear was coming and bringing a friend. I was excited, since he graduated last year and I thought I wasn't going to see him again, so I hugged him rather enthusiastically when he arrived.
Dinner went wonderfully (everyone loved my fool-gogi, including Bear), and we all parted on really good terms. After I got home, I posted a message on his Facebook wall saying that we need to hang out and stuff, so today he suggested that we go see a movie with some of the people from the potluck last night. I agreed, so I called up some people, including last night's hostess (Violinist) and our friend Mezzo (who's a mezzo-soprano). We all decided to go see Zombieland (which is made of awesome, in case you were wondering), so I drove the girls and Bear drove himself and his friend Battle Axe (another pseudonym).
At the theatre, I sat between Bear and Mezzo, while Violinist sat on the other side of Bear and Battle Axe sat in front of us. The theatre was entirely empty except for one other guy who sat in front by himself, so we were all loud and irreverent and goofy throughout the entire movie. We even ended up switching seats a few times due to our shenanigans, but I always ended up next to Bear. I'm an extremely jumpy moviegoer, so I spent a lot of time cowering behind my sweater or into Bear's shoulder. He didn't seem to mind, though, and although I knew that what I was doing could be construed as flirting (and I suppose it technically was, since I literally flirt with everyone) I did nothing to rein myself in.
The flirtation continued after the movie, when I hugged Bear and Battle Axe goodbye by hanging from their necks--I often do this with tall people regardless of gender, but I also use it to flirt because it's extended contact. Bear and I raced our carssomewhat dangerously back to campus, where I eventually lost him after dropping off Mezzo and Violinist.
When I got back home to make dinner for myself and Rita (the movie was an early showing), the flirtation continued via text, as we joked about how he only had 1 1/2 dimples (which I've never noticed and need to confirm with my own eyes) and how I was more than welcome to play with them. He said that my proposed action of pinching his cheeks was kinky, to which I replied that he must be really repressed. He replied that I was welcome to find out just how repressed he was, and then I (unintentionally) killed it by just telling him "We'll see."
So. I don't know what I'm feeling. Do I actually like him, or am I just giddy about seeing someone I'd liked (platonically) and hadn't seen in a long time?
Pros: Tall (at least 6'1"), funny, musical (he's a music teacher), understands my sense of humour, makes me feel comfortable, cuddly, seems to be interested, comes into town fairly frequently, already knows a lot of my (musically-inclined) friends.
Cons: Already graduated and in the real world, working ~2 hours away from me, a little on the heavy side physically, previously dated my old roommate (whom I'm still really close with), may or may not still be attached to his girlfriend before her.
He's staying with Battle Axe this weekend, and he's invited me to come hang out with them some more after I finish my homework if I want.
I..don't know what to do. On the one hand, I want to take him up on his offer and spend more time with him, but on the other hand I don't know if I actually feel something for him or if I'm just (a) rebounding off of Philosopher or (b) desperate.
..although I suppose I should finish my homework first before I try to figure it out.
Also, according to Battle Axe, I'm either a bunny or a sparrow. I'm going to go with the former.
Mood: confused
You know that saying, "When it rains it pours"?
I'm sort of living that right now.
I'm still not completely over that whole mess of emotion that I wrote about previously, but it's faded enough for me to be open to other things. Which is good, since something I never saw coming is happening.
So. My roommate from last year (whom I'll call Whittles) had a pseudo-boyfriend for a few weeks during the fall semester. (I'm going to call him Bear, since he reminds me of a teddy bear.) I got to meet him a couple of times, and I instantly took a platonic liking to him--after all, he sort of belonged to my roommate, even though they were only casually dating. I thought he was a really nice guy, though, and I genuinely enjoyed his company. After my roommate called it off, though, I decided not to pursue a real friendship with him because (a) that's awkward, (b) I would never really see him around on campus anyway, and (c) I was distracted by drama in my own life at the time.
Well, one of my friends had a potluck last night. Rita made broccoli, while I made my fool-gogi again, and we headed over there expecting it to be mostly people connected only through this friend. To my surprise, though, I heard that Bear was coming and bringing a friend. I was excited, since he graduated last year and I thought I wasn't going to see him again, so I hugged him rather enthusiastically when he arrived.
Dinner went wonderfully (everyone loved my fool-gogi, including Bear), and we all parted on really good terms. After I got home, I posted a message on his Facebook wall saying that we need to hang out and stuff, so today he suggested that we go see a movie with some of the people from the potluck last night. I agreed, so I called up some people, including last night's hostess (Violinist) and our friend Mezzo (who's a mezzo-soprano). We all decided to go see Zombieland (which is made of awesome, in case you were wondering), so I drove the girls and Bear drove himself and his friend Battle Axe (another pseudonym).
At the theatre, I sat between Bear and Mezzo, while Violinist sat on the other side of Bear and Battle Axe sat in front of us. The theatre was entirely empty except for one other guy who sat in front by himself, so we were all loud and irreverent and goofy throughout the entire movie. We even ended up switching seats a few times due to our shenanigans, but I always ended up next to Bear. I'm an extremely jumpy moviegoer, so I spent a lot of time cowering behind my sweater or into Bear's shoulder. He didn't seem to mind, though, and although I knew that what I was doing could be construed as flirting (and I suppose it technically was, since I literally flirt with everyone) I did nothing to rein myself in.
The flirtation continued after the movie, when I hugged Bear and Battle Axe goodbye by hanging from their necks--I often do this with tall people regardless of gender, but I also use it to flirt because it's extended contact. Bear and I raced our cars
When I got back home to make dinner for myself and Rita (the movie was an early showing), the flirtation continued via text, as we joked about how he only had 1 1/2 dimples (which I've never noticed and need to confirm with my own eyes) and how I was more than welcome to play with them. He said that my proposed action of pinching his cheeks was kinky, to which I replied that he must be really repressed. He replied that I was welcome to find out just how repressed he was, and then I (unintentionally) killed it by just telling him "We'll see."
So. I don't know what I'm feeling. Do I actually like him, or am I just giddy about seeing someone I'd liked (platonically) and hadn't seen in a long time?
Pros: Tall (at least 6'1"), funny, musical (he's a music teacher), understands my sense of humour, makes me feel comfortable, cuddly, seems to be interested, comes into town fairly frequently, already knows a lot of my (musically-inclined) friends.
Cons: Already graduated and in the real world, working ~2 hours away from me, a little on the heavy side physically, previously dated my old roommate (whom I'm still really close with), may or may not still be attached to his girlfriend before her.
He's staying with Battle Axe this weekend, and he's invited me to come hang out with them some more after I finish my homework if I want.
I..don't know what to do. On the one hand, I want to take him up on his offer and spend more time with him, but on the other hand I don't know if I actually feel something for him or if I'm just (a) rebounding off of Philosopher or (b) desperate.
..although I suppose I should finish my homework first before I try to figure it out.
Also, according to Battle Axe, I'm either a bunny or a sparrow. I'm going to go with the former.
06 October 2009
"Why don't you care when it's plain to see / your heart is all I need?"
Music: Jeff Darcy - Heartbreaker (G-Dragon English cover)
Mood: angry and bruised
(A metaphor for my inner turmoil?)
So, remember how I said I knew he wasn't slighting me because he hadn't been on Facebook in awhile?
Well. He was on Facebook today. I know this because he posted things on his wall. He also silently rejected my friend request.
..who does that?!
I'm trying so hard to wrap my head around this concept. I thought.. I mean, I was under the impression.. Well, wasn't he interested in me?
My ego is so bruised right now. I know I'd only met him the once, but I thought there was something there.
Did I inadvertently drive him away? Was he never interested in the first place? If he wasn't interested to begin with, why did he keep asking Rita about me at B-House, and go out of his way to drag me out of my shell? He's the one who approached me. He's the one who asked me to dance. He's the one who invited me to sit next to him outside at B-House, who took my hand when we went back inside. He's the one who had the intense look in his eyes as we danced. He's the one who told Rita I was cute, who..
Maybe he's just one of those people who doesn't add someone as a friend until they've gotten to know them a little better. Even if that's true, wouldn't you still add someone you were somewhat interested in, in order to get to know them better?
He started all of this. If he hadn't been so darn sweet and nice and cute and likable, I wouldn't had thought about him so much and gotten to this point.
God, Kara. It's been all of two days since you met him. TWO DAYS. I don't think you fell for your last crushes this quickly. In fact, I don't think you've ever fallen this quickly.
What is happening to me?
Mood: angry and bruised
(A metaphor for my inner turmoil?)
So, remember how I said I knew he wasn't slighting me because he hadn't been on Facebook in awhile?
Well. He was on Facebook today. I know this because he posted things on his wall. He also silently rejected my friend request.
..who does that?!
I'm trying so hard to wrap my head around this concept. I thought.. I mean, I was under the impression.. Well, wasn't he interested in me?
My ego is so bruised right now. I know I'd only met him the once, but I thought there was something there.
Did I inadvertently drive him away? Was he never interested in the first place? If he wasn't interested to begin with, why did he keep asking Rita about me at B-House, and go out of his way to drag me out of my shell? He's the one who approached me. He's the one who asked me to dance. He's the one who invited me to sit next to him outside at B-House, who took my hand when we went back inside. He's the one who had the intense look in his eyes as we danced. He's the one who told Rita I was cute, who..
Maybe he's just one of those people who doesn't add someone as a friend until they've gotten to know them a little better. Even if that's true, wouldn't you still add someone you were somewhat interested in, in order to get to know them better?
He started all of this. If he hadn't been so darn sweet and nice and cute and likable, I wouldn't had thought about him so much and gotten to this point.
God, Kara. It's been all of two days since you met him. TWO DAYS. I don't think you fell for your last crushes this quickly. In fact, I don't think you've ever fallen this quickly.
What is happening to me?
05 October 2009
"Let's talk and we'll fill the air with imagery that lasts forever.."
Music: Azure Ray - If You Fall
Mood: over-thinking
(Visitors look around a pinwheel field at Imjingak Pyeonghoa Nuri Park in Paju, Gyeonggi Province on Sunday, the last day of the Chuseok or Korean Thanksgiving holidays. Courtesy of the Chosun Ilbo.)
My brain needs to stop going into hyperdrive right now. Seriously, STOP. I've been checking Facebook all day, hoping he's added me back. He hasn't yet, but he also doesn't appear to have been on Facebook at all since last Thursday, so I'm fairly certain he's not slighting me.
ACK. What if I'm the only one working myself up about this? Sure, he seemed interested at the party, but what if decided he wasn't interested after all after he got home, or worse, forgot all about me? Surely if he was interested, he would've jumped on Facebook and sent me a friend request. Right?
I broke down and told Laura about it over AIM, after swearing her to secrecy. Turns out they're sort-of friends (they have mutual friends, and they've eaten meals together a few times). In her words, he's "pretty adorable" and "genuinely a nice guy," which makes me slightly less nervous about having possibly misjudged him. And he's a runner, which is always a plus (I have a mild thing for runners). Although, according to her, he's "slightly shy-ish," whatever that means. Do I have to be proactive here? Do I have to go drop hints somewhere (i.e. tell Rita and let her gossip to the world) to let him know it's okay to make a move? Because that's really not my style.. I'd much prefer to just flirt whenever we're together and hope he gets the hint that way. Bah.
Laura also has a crush on a junior guy (who happens to be friends with my new crush), which is funny because she graduated this past year. I told her we were like cougars; she approved.
She's also coming into town for Halloween, which should be epic. We had a blast together last year, even though she had a broken foot at the time. This year promises to be equally awesome, largely because (a) Rita and I are gonna be dressing sexy, and (b) because all three of us have guys in mind this time around. :P Plus, Halloween falls on a Saturday this year, which means that there are going to be some craaaaaazy parties. We'll probably hit up two or three of the big ones, unless there's a smaller one going on at B-House or something. I'm hoping I run into him at one of these parties, so I can work my magic on him. I'll be looking sexy and cute, dammit! I want him to appreciate it. (I bought the costume before I met him, but now I'm glad I went with this one. Might give me an edge in the seduction, muahaha.)
Dammit. How did this change from mild interest in a sorta-cute and really nice guy to a full-fledged crush? This is what happens when I allow my brain to run unchecked.
Anyway. Parties (and boy) aside.
Our landlord came over this morning to check out our fuses. I was asleep, so Lynn handled him. He showed us where the fuse box was and got the power running again, but the heat still doesn't work. He's supposed to send someone tomorrow (today) to fix it.. I hope so, because it's ridiculously cold in every room but mine.
And now I need to churn out a quick one-page thought piece for Lutze's class tomorrow. I've been putting it off all weekend, boo.
이제부터, 그 사람을 생각 할꺼 않아요.
진짜야. 정말이야.
...그렇게 믿고 싶어요.
Mood: over-thinking
(Visitors look around a pinwheel field at Imjingak Pyeonghoa Nuri Park in Paju, Gyeonggi Province on Sunday, the last day of the Chuseok or Korean Thanksgiving holidays. Courtesy of the Chosun Ilbo.)
My brain needs to stop going into hyperdrive right now. Seriously, STOP. I've been checking Facebook all day, hoping he's added me back. He hasn't yet, but he also doesn't appear to have been on Facebook at all since last Thursday, so I'm fairly certain he's not slighting me.
ACK. What if I'm the only one working myself up about this? Sure, he seemed interested at the party, but what if decided he wasn't interested after all after he got home, or worse, forgot all about me? Surely if he was interested, he would've jumped on Facebook and sent me a friend request. Right?
I broke down and told Laura about it over AIM, after swearing her to secrecy. Turns out they're sort-of friends (they have mutual friends, and they've eaten meals together a few times). In her words, he's "pretty adorable" and "genuinely a nice guy," which makes me slightly less nervous about having possibly misjudged him. And he's a runner, which is always a plus (I have a mild thing for runners). Although, according to her, he's "slightly shy-ish," whatever that means. Do I have to be proactive here? Do I have to go drop hints somewhere (i.e. tell Rita and let her gossip to the world) to let him know it's okay to make a move? Because that's really not my style.. I'd much prefer to just flirt whenever we're together and hope he gets the hint that way. Bah.
Laura also has a crush on a junior guy (who happens to be friends with my new crush), which is funny because she graduated this past year. I told her we were like cougars; she approved.
She's also coming into town for Halloween, which should be epic. We had a blast together last year, even though she had a broken foot at the time. This year promises to be equally awesome, largely because (a) Rita and I are gonna be dressing sexy, and (b) because all three of us have guys in mind this time around. :P Plus, Halloween falls on a Saturday this year, which means that there are going to be some craaaaaazy parties. We'll probably hit up two or three of the big ones, unless there's a smaller one going on at B-House or something. I'm hoping I run into him at one of these parties, so I can work my magic on him. I'll be looking sexy and cute, dammit! I want him to appreciate it. (I bought the costume before I met him, but now I'm glad I went with this one. Might give me an edge in the seduction, muahaha.)
Dammit. How did this change from mild interest in a sorta-cute and really nice guy to a full-fledged crush? This is what happens when I allow my brain to run unchecked.
Anyway. Parties (and boy) aside.
Our landlord came over this morning to check out our fuses. I was asleep, so Lynn handled him. He showed us where the fuse box was and got the power running again, but the heat still doesn't work. He's supposed to send someone tomorrow (today) to fix it.. I hope so, because it's ridiculously cold in every room but mine.
And now I need to churn out a quick one-page thought piece for Lutze's class tomorrow. I've been putting it off all weekend, boo.
이제부터, 그 사람을 생각 할꺼 않아요.
진짜야. 정말이야.
...그렇게 믿고 싶어요.
04 October 2009
"Watch the sun, watch the moon, taking turns in the same sky.."
Music: Maria Taylor - Time Lapse Lifeline
Mood: confused
(We painted a version of this on our suite windows sophomore year. We were awesome.)
So today was..interesting.
Had my Korean lesson today, where we mostly talked about the places my classmates have traveled and how I need to travel while I'm still young and relatively carefree.
Afterwards, I grabbed some stuff from the library for paper-writing later and came home to eat lunch and hang out with Rita. We both decided we were sick of being so cold all the time, so we went to buy space heaters.
While we were out, we went costume shopping. Annnndddd..I totally bought a costume. I'm some sort of sexy devil or something. It's modest enough to work with my self-consciousness, while still sexy enough that I don't feel like a prude. Plus, it's red, and I look good in it. :P I can't wait for Halloween~~~
I also picked up the first season of Big Bang Theory, so Rita and I spent the next several hours watching it. (So good! I love Sheldon..)
And then, for the main part.. There was a party at B-House (B-House = Bulgaria House) tonight, so Rita and I showed up somewhere around 11.30. There weren't many people I knew there, so I mostly sat around awkwardly and tried not to follow Rita like a puppy.
Apparently, though, being a wallflower is intriguing to some guys, because I got hit on. By a sweet, kinda cute junior.
Hrmmmm.
I don't usually go for younger guys, but he was really sweet, and pretty interesting, and pretty into me. (I'm not being an egotist; he kept telling Rita how pretty I was and how he just wanted to talk with me and dance with me and stuff.) I feel a little bad, because (a) I'm not good in situations where I don't know most of the group, and (b) I think he may have felt like I was blowing him off because I didn't want to dance. (I DID want to dance! I just.. I'm too self-conscious to dance when no one else is dancing. Because really, it was just the two of us, and everyone else was sitting down.) He retreated outside a little while later to smoke (ew!) with some people, and I wanted so badly to join him without being obvious.. So I followed Rita out there, haha. And he seemed glad to see me, and asked me to sit down and chat with him, so I did. And it was nice, until we went back inside to escape from some drunken people and I lost him. I got trapped into conversations with other people and couldn't find an excuse to go talk to him again, even though he was literally sitting right next to me. I didn't really get a chance to talk to him for the rest of the night, because he left soon after.
Pros: Interesting, nice, intelligent, tall, seems to like me, kinda cute (not my usual type, but not bad), philosophy major (I like philosophy).
Cons: Younger than me, smoker (I could forgive it if I really grew to like him, but I still don't care for it), don't really know him.
GAH. I'm over-thinking this. A lot. I know I am. It's a guy I met once, and I never gave him (or anyone) any indication that I was really interested in him. (Because I'm not. Am I? I don't know..)
Grr. Argh. Why am I so passive?
I did send him a friend request on Facebook though, so..maybe? Who knows? Gah. Whatever.
Sleep now. We blew a fuse or something in our house, so the only rooms with any power are my room and my bathroom. Our landlord is sending someone over tomorrow (today?) morning, so I should probably sleep so I can be awake enough to talk to him tomorrow.
Mood: confused
(We painted a version of this on our suite windows sophomore year. We were awesome.)
So today was..interesting.
Had my Korean lesson today, where we mostly talked about the places my classmates have traveled and how I need to travel while I'm still young and relatively carefree.
Afterwards, I grabbed some stuff from the library for paper-writing later and came home to eat lunch and hang out with Rita. We both decided we were sick of being so cold all the time, so we went to buy space heaters.
While we were out, we went costume shopping. Annnndddd..I totally bought a costume. I'm some sort of sexy devil or something. It's modest enough to work with my self-consciousness, while still sexy enough that I don't feel like a prude. Plus, it's red, and I look good in it. :P I can't wait for Halloween~~~
I also picked up the first season of Big Bang Theory, so Rita and I spent the next several hours watching it. (So good! I love Sheldon..)
And then, for the main part.. There was a party at B-House (B-House = Bulgaria House) tonight, so Rita and I showed up somewhere around 11.30. There weren't many people I knew there, so I mostly sat around awkwardly and tried not to follow Rita like a puppy.
Apparently, though, being a wallflower is intriguing to some guys, because I got hit on. By a sweet, kinda cute junior.
Hrmmmm.
I don't usually go for younger guys, but he was really sweet, and pretty interesting, and pretty into me. (I'm not being an egotist; he kept telling Rita how pretty I was and how he just wanted to talk with me and dance with me and stuff.) I feel a little bad, because (a) I'm not good in situations where I don't know most of the group, and (b) I think he may have felt like I was blowing him off because I didn't want to dance. (I DID want to dance! I just.. I'm too self-conscious to dance when no one else is dancing. Because really, it was just the two of us, and everyone else was sitting down.) He retreated outside a little while later to smoke (ew!) with some people, and I wanted so badly to join him without being obvious.. So I followed Rita out there, haha. And he seemed glad to see me, and asked me to sit down and chat with him, so I did. And it was nice, until we went back inside to escape from some drunken people and I lost him. I got trapped into conversations with other people and couldn't find an excuse to go talk to him again, even though he was literally sitting right next to me. I didn't really get a chance to talk to him for the rest of the night, because he left soon after.
Pros: Interesting, nice, intelligent, tall, seems to like me, kinda cute (not my usual type, but not bad), philosophy major (I like philosophy).
Cons: Younger than me, smoker (I could forgive it if I really grew to like him, but I still don't care for it), don't really know him.
GAH. I'm over-thinking this. A lot. I know I am. It's a guy I met once, and I never gave him (or anyone) any indication that I was really interested in him. (Because I'm not. Am I? I don't know..)
Grr. Argh. Why am I so passive?
I did send him a friend request on Facebook though, so..maybe? Who knows? Gah. Whatever.
Sleep now. We blew a fuse or something in our house, so the only rooms with any power are my room and my bathroom. Our landlord is sending someone over tomorrow (today?) morning, so I should probably sleep so I can be awake enough to talk to him tomorrow.
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