My head hurts, my throat hurts, my hands hurt, my body aches... And just like when I was little, I'm becoming whiny and pathetic.
Soooooooo not fun. :(
Unfortunately, I can't take tomorrow off because of two things: (a) I have a hanzi quiz, and (b) the proposal for my history research paper is due.
Boooooooooooooo. Do not want.
Or, as Jokwon would say:
ㅋㅋㅋ I just wanted an excuse to use that .gif.
But seriously, I feel like crap. I just want to drink tea and turn the heater on high and snuggle up in my warm bed with all of my pillows and blankets and go to SLEEP until Monday, but I can't.
This is the third time this semester. When did my immune system get to be so crappy?
On the plus side, I totally thought of a scenario for my Chinese final.
Every semester in Chinese, our professor makes us do some sort of oral presentation for our final exam. Skits are preferred, but last semester we had the option of writing a story and presenting it (I did one about mice), and this semester we're allowed to present the paper that we're writing for the written part of the exam.
I HATE presenting things alone, so I'm all about the skit.
My idea is that Mindy (one of my classmates) is a famous popstar, Tim is her manager, and the other guy (whose name I STILL don't know) and I are her rabid fans. We stalk her after a concert or something, except she's a mean popstar and doesn't want to sign autographs, so we take videos of how mean she is and blackmail her.
..shush, it'll be fun.
And now, I'm off to find primary sources for my research paper. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find English-language primary sources on the Communist Revolution in China? It's difficult. If I'd realized that this proposal was due tomorrow, I would've asked my professor for suggestions beforehand.
Watching:Bones, "The Man In the SUV" (there's a Bones marathon on right now) Mood: concerned
(I find persimmons disgusting, but I like this picture. From the Chosun Ilbo.)
Hrm. Dilemma.
I didn't see Bear at all last weekend because I had a paper for anthropology which kept me busy. And honestly, I was glad of it.
It's exhausting, avoiding people. And I have no rational reason for avoiding him except that I have absolutely no interest in this and I don't want to lead him on or anything.
So, back to my dilemma.
He texted me sometime today, asking how I would feel if he cooked dinner for me this coming Friday.
..how do I let him down easy? I don't want to hurt him, because he's a nice guy, but I don't want to make him hate me.
I suck at confrontation. Gah.
Besides, I'm developing a crush on another guy. And by "developing," I mean "have already developed."
It's a mild crush, considering we've only ever really interacted two or three times. He's in my history class, and he sits directly across the room from me (we're arranged in a semi-circle). I always catch him looking in my direction, and while sometimes I know he's looking at me (it's a natural human reaction, since I watch people too), I don't know if it's deliberate or just his attention wandering.
But anyway. We were paired up in class together last week to prepare for a class discussion on a document, and he seems really nice. I feel like he's shy too, haha. :P And yesterday when I was working on my anthro paper in the library, he was there working on the history paper we have due on Friday. I didn't realize it was him when I sat down (he was facing away from me and had changed his shirt since class that morning), but he recognized me and came over to say hello. We even chatted for a little while about our papers, and then quietly settled into companionable silence near each other as we worked.
We also passed each other on the sidewalk today. He was walking with another girl (they didn't seem overly close, so I'm guessing they're just friends), but we smiled and said hi to each other before going on our way.
I don't know. He's younger than me, but he's cute, and he speaks up in class more than I do. Violinist has another class with him, and she says he's really nice. (I also think he's a transfer student, because I'd never seen him before this year. Hrm.)
Whatevs. I doubt anything will come of it. This is just me being me.
However, just for the sake of my love of code names, and because I'll probably mention him at least once more before the end of the semester, I'm going to dub him..Hawkeye. (I don't know him well enough to give him a distinctive one of his own, so I resorted to this Codename Generator. I know, I'm lame awesome.)
(Forgive my childish Korean and even more childish English translation. I'm learning, 'kay?
Also, all links in the Korean section are for the Korean Wiki articles, while all links in the English sections are for the English Wiki articles. For comparison. ^^)
우앗! 아얼 시티는 너무 좋아~~
지금 비 와요. 아주 마~않이.
재가 비 좋아하지만, 비 와는 동안 집에 가는 것 실어요. ㅠ_ㅠ
오늘 크래스를 지워 버렸어요. 선생님 몸이 좋지 않이고, 그 아들은 H1N1 해요. 크래스에 안 가는 것 좋아하지만, 선생님도 선생님의 가족을 걱정시켜요.
아까 전 도서관에서 중국 역사를 공부하고 있었어요. 마오 제동의 "Four Essays on Philosophy"를 읽고 있었고, 다른 책을 나중에 읽꺼예요. 재밌지만, 전 지금은 아주 많이 피곤해서 골몰 못 해요.
내일 한글날 이에요! 1446에서 세종대왕은 한글을 창조했어요. 한글 있어서, 중국의 한자의 필요 없었어요. 그래서, 10월 9일에 한국인들이 한글날을 축하해요.
어제 한국인 블로거 선현우씨는 블로그하고 유튭에서 한글날 인사 모였다고, 나중에 비디어 콜라주를 만들꺼예요. 재가 한글날 인사 썼어서, 기다리세요! ㅎㅎㅎ
..그런데, 전 왜 이렇게 한국말에 잘 쓸 수 있어요? 한국어 레슨은 토요일에 만 있는데, 중국어 보다 너무 좋아요. ㅎㅎㅎㅎ
그리고, 재 한글은 너무 예뻐요~ :3 안인가?
우앗, 진짜 많이 썼어요, 지금은.
Wah! I love Owl City~~
It's raining right now. Lots.
I like rain, but I hate walking home while it's raining. ;_;
Class was canceled today. Our professor is sick, and his son has H1N1. I like not going to class, but I'm worried about my professor and his family.
I was in the library studying for Chinese history just now, reading Mao's "Four Essays on Philosophy." Later, I'll read some other stuff. It's interesting, but right now I'm tired and can't concentrate.
Tomorrow is Hangul Day! In 1446, King Sejong the Great developed hangul; because of this, Koreans didn't need to use Chinese hanja anymore, which is why they celebrate Hangul Day on October 9th.
Yesterday, Korean blogger Hyunwoo Sun collected greetings for Hangul Day on his blog and Youtube, and later he'll be making a video collage out of them. I wrote one as well, so please look forward to it, haha!
..how can I write so well in Korean? I only have Korean lessons on Saturdays, but my Korean is much better than my Chinese. LOL.
And my hangul is so preeeetty, isn't it? :3
Wow, I really wrote a lot just now.
(Yes, it's short, but my vocabulary is fairly limited for the things I want to say, and it's a pain choosing the correct words when my dictionary isn't terribly clear. I'll write more at length some other day.)
Music: Maria Taylor - Time Lapse Lifeline Mood: confused
(We painted a version of this on our suite windows sophomore year. We were awesome.)
So today was..interesting.
Had my Korean lesson today, where we mostly talked about the places my classmates have traveled and how I need to travel while I'm still young and relatively carefree.
Afterwards, I grabbed some stuff from the library for paper-writing later and came home to eat lunch and hang out with Rita. We both decided we were sick of being so cold all the time, so we went to buy space heaters.
While we were out, we went costume shopping. Annnndddd..I totally bought a costume. I'm some sort of sexy devil or something. It's modest enough to work with my self-consciousness, while still sexy enough that I don't feel like a prude. Plus, it's red, and I look good in it. :P I can't wait for Halloween~~~
I also picked up the first season of Big Bang Theory, so Rita and I spent the next several hours watching it. (So good! I love Sheldon..)
And then, for the main part.. There was a party at B-House (B-House = Bulgaria House) tonight, so Rita and I showed up somewhere around 11.30. There weren't many people I knew there, so I mostly sat around awkwardly and tried not to follow Rita like a puppy.
Apparently, though, being a wallflower is intriguing to some guys, because I got hit on. By a sweet, kinda cute junior.
Hrmmmm.
I don't usually go for younger guys, but he was really sweet, and pretty interesting, and pretty into me. (I'm not being an egotist; he kept telling Rita how pretty I was and how he just wanted to talk with me and dance with me and stuff.) I feel a little bad, because (a) I'm not good in situations where I don't know most of the group, and (b) I think he may have felt like I was blowing him off because I didn't want to dance. (I DID want to dance! I just.. I'm too self-conscious to dance when no one else is dancing. Because really, it was just the two of us, and everyone else was sitting down.) He retreated outside a little while later to smoke (ew!) with some people, and I wanted so badly to join him without being obvious.. So I followed Rita out there, haha. And he seemed glad to see me, and asked me to sit down and chat with him, so I did. And it was nice, until we went back inside to escape from some drunken people and I lost him. I got trapped into conversations with other people and couldn't find an excuse to go talk to him again, even though he was literally sitting right next to me. I didn't really get a chance to talk to him for the rest of the night, because he left soon after.
Pros: Interesting, nice, intelligent, tall, seems to like me, kinda cute (not my usual type, but not bad), philosophy major (I like philosophy). Cons: Younger than me, smoker (I could forgive it if I really grew to like him, but I still don't care for it), don't really know him.
GAH. I'm over-thinking this. A lot. I know I am. It's a guy I met once, and I never gave him (or anyone) any indication that I was really interested in him. (Because I'm not. Am I? I don't know..)
Grr. Argh. Why am I so passive?
I did send him a friend request on Facebook though, so..maybe? Who knows? Gah. Whatever.
Sleep now. We blew a fuse or something in our house, so the only rooms with any power are my room and my bathroom. Our landlord is sending someone over tomorrow (today?) morning, so I should probably sleep so I can be awake enough to talk to him tomorrow.
Title of today's post taken from today's song. I quite enjoy Metric. (And I like one fan's interpretation of this song as Emily (the singer) being chased by zombies. LOLZ.)
COLD. Very, very cold. Extremely cold, you might say.
Well, I'm a wuss, so maybe you wouldn't say. Although really, 64 degrees INSIDE is pretty cold. (It's 55 degrees outside.) We have the thermostat set to 69/70-ish, but it's not heating up enough. Coooooold~ *whines*
I'm sick again, which isn't fun. It's not the same as my last illness, though.. This one is mostly manifesting itself in a rather annoying cough (and I'm pretty sure there's more fluid in my lungs than last time) and me getting tired faster, but whatever. Better than a couple of weeks ago, when I just wanted to die.
Rita's started smoking again. She's been doing it off and on since high school, apparently. I've taken it upon myself to yell at her everytime I smell it on her, which she doesn't really like. Still, I figure that if she's allowed to yell at Mike for smoking, I'm allowed to yell at her for the same thing. (Double standards are unacceptable, Rita. Although now she and Mike are smoking buddies, which appears to defeat the purpose.) Lynn apparently also smokes, which I didn't know until Rita told me. Thinking back on it, though, it doesn't really surprise me. Still, Lynn's a nursing major. She should know better, no?
I made bulgogi (불고기) for dinner (for myself) last week. Or rather, "fool-gogi" ("바보"고기?), since the recipe I used isn't really authentic. I think it's an approximation. :P Plus, I didn't have any rice wine, so I used apple juice for the marinade. (The acidity in both tenderizes the meat, but apple juice gives it a slightly sweeter flavour.) I actually liked the apple juice in the marinade, so I think I might do it this way more often. I did oversalt the fool-gogi a little, but that's because the piece I taste-tested apparently didn't get ANY salt somehow, so I overcompensated. -_-; Ah well. Rita liked it anyway (she tried a piece), so she made me make it again yesterday.
Second time was definitely the charm. I invited Mel over to (a) help me prepare and (b) hang out, since I hadn't seen her in awhile (I overslept and missed class on Tuesday). I had gotten up early-ish and marinated the beef before class, so it had had around 6 hours to marinate and the only things left to prepare were the broccoli for the side dish and the onions for the bulgogi. I cut way back on the pepper in the marinade--the recipe called for 3 tablespoons (!!!), which is way too much--and used more sugar than last time. I also waited to add the salt until actually cooking the meat, which helped a lot. It turned out really well--both Mel and Rita loved it. I think it's the first time since we've moved into this house that we've finished everything on the table with nothing left over. I'll definitely have to make it again. Maybe I'll even introduce it at home, since bulgogi is really mild and it was really easy to make. (Seriously, if I can make it with my limited cooking experience, pretty much anyone can make it.)
Cough. Hack. Cough. Illness interlude.
Anyway. I did end up finishing that history paper. I wrote most of it the night before it was due, so I only had the conclusion to do in the morning when I woke up. I actually went a page over the limit, though, so I had to rearrange paragraphs and trim sentences and shrink margins in order to make everything fit. It was..annoying, haha. But I did it! Hopefully I didn't accidentally cut out any key points or anything; I'm always afraid of doing that. I think it went well on the whole, though, and I can't wait to get it back so I can see how I did.
In other news, I think I know what I want to get my Masters in--Korean History. "But what happened to Translation?" you ask. (Well, maybe you don't ask. That's okay, I'll ask for you.)
Well..to be honest, I love history. I've always loved history. AP U.S. History and AP European History were two of my favourite classes in high school (largely because of the awesome Coach Carter as our teacher, but also because I enjoyed the subject), and it's consistently been one of my favourite subjects in college (not just because I think Prof. Lutze is awesome, either). Asian history fascinates me in ways that European history never has, and Korean history is especially intriguing. Perhaps it's because I haven't formally learned anything about Korean history other than how it used to be a Chinese colony, then got stolen by the Japanese, then became independent--in about that much detail. Or perhaps it's because I find the Joseon period (1392-1910) endlessly interesting. (The Goryeo period (918-1392) is interesting as well, but not to the same degree.)
(The reason I'm an International Studies major is because I entered college with the idea that I would be a translator or a subtitler, and I wasn't as in love with Korea then as I am now. Besides, the History program here mostly focuses on European or American history, and my interests have always run more towards Asia. Still, sometimes I wish I'd been a history major instead.)
The question is, what would I do with this degree? Especially in Korea, where any Korean with the same Masters would automatically seem more suitable for any job. I could probably find a job at a museum in the States, but how easy would it be for me to do the same in Korea? Because I still plan on living there for the rest of my life, or at least until something happens to change my mind. (Just watch me marry another foreigner and get whisked back to his native country with him. Just watch.)
I'm currently reading Edgar Snow's classic Red Star Over China for Lutze's class, and while I find it interesting, I also can't decide whether or not I think Snow is objective or a Mao fanboy. I'm leaning towards the latter. We're supposed to write a critical review of either this book or William H. Hinton'sFanshen, and I'm thinking about doing it on this book (Fanshen hasn't really done anything for me so far). But whatever, we'll see.
On the subject of Lutze's class, I need to finish my reading for that now.. The homework isn't due until Monday, but there's a lot more reading for this week than usual, so I need to get at least half of it done for tomorrow. Argh. I adore this man and his class, but he assigns SO MUCH READING. (My fault for not staying on top of things.)
(Car-Free Day in southern Seoul earlier today. Stolen from The Korea Herald.)
My history paper is currently about 1/3 done. As soon as I finish this post, I'm going to get seriously cracking on it.
Mmmmm, peppermint tea. The tea I adore. Followed closely by 설록차(Sul Loc Cha)-brand green tea. And..that's pretty much it, actually.
Today I walked into my anthropology class, ready to take my exam, only to discover that over half the class (including myself) was randomly wearing school paraphernalia. Are we awesome? Oh yes. Springwood cracked jokes about it until he passed out the exam. Speaking of which, I think I did well enough. There were two essays at the end, which I wasn't expecting, but I'm fairly certain I hit all the points I needed to hit. Huzzah for a potential good grade!
I've decided I'm going to make bulgogi tomorrow. Because I love it. And because Rita and I have decided that we both adore beef and don't get to eat it enough. (Asian-style beef, not beef as in general meat from a cow. Steak, for instance, I'm not terribly fond of.) Since Rita doesn't like kimchi, though, I'm going to have to think of some other side dishes to make with it. Maybe I'll go buy bean sprouts and stir-fry those up with some other vegetables.. Broccoli?
Bah, whatevs.
Oh man, this song makes me think of the drama Soulmate. THAT was a fantastic show. I never did quite understand why Dong-wook could read Soo-kyung's mind (TRUE LOVE = TELEPATHY?), but other than that it was terrific. (I feel like I'm a kid in the 50s. "Gee willikers, Billy, that sure sounds terrific!" (Also, spell-check tried to turn "willikers" into "williwaws." Wtf is a williwaw?))
According to dictionary.com, a williwaw is "a violent squall that blows in near-polar latitudes, as in the Strait of Magellan, Alaska, and the Aleutian Islands." ..huh. The things you learn.
Anyway. Tangents! I go on them.
What was I talking about again?
..hrm. Obviously not important.
Aaaaanywho. Did I mention I only have 1/3 of my paper finished? And I still haven't found quote-worthy passages from any of my readings. CRAP.
Okay, new plan. FINISH the paper. THEN blog. Good plan.
Music: Napoleon Dynamite - 웃어 (Laugh) Mood: concerned
(Stolen from Singaporean singer-songwriter JJ Lin's blog. That's a giant watch in the center.)
There's some stuff going on that has me worried. Not seriously worried, but still..worried. Mostly for other people.
Anyway.
My camera appears to have died for the last time, so I've bitten the bullet and told the parental units. I might get a new one for Christmas.. We'll see. In the meantime, I'll have to make do with either (a) scouring the internet for cool pictures, (b) stealing stuff off of Facebook, or (c) using my built-in laptop camera. (Hence today's picture, stolen from JJ Lin, one of my favourite artists. He's also a good photographer.)
Since we're on the subject of JJ Lin, I'm going to go on a mild fangirl tangent. Bear with me.
OMG, I ADORE HIM. Not in the "I want to marry him and bear his children" sort of way, but in the "I want to be his best friend and hang out with him" sort of way. He's talented, he seems really funny and sweet, and he has adorable dimples. Plus, I've been totally rocking out to his music this past week while walking to and from campus. It's been a good time.
ALSO! He totally talked to me. :D Well, tweeted to me. Yes, to me! AHAHAHA, fangirl moment~ I wrote a tweet wondering why I hadn't noticed his last album coming out last year (tagged it @JJ_Lin, which is his Twitter) and ended up blaming it on all of the drama here that happened around then. Twenty minutes later, he tweets me back asking where I am. :DDDDDDDD I told him I was in Illinois, and that I was actually referring to friend-drama. He..hasn't tweeted me back. :( But I know he's alive. He's supposedly going to analyze my personality (and the personality of every other fan that tweeted him back about his question) based on my three favourite animals and my reasons. I'm excited. :DDDD
..shut up. >.>
Anyway.
I have an anthropology exam tomorrow morning. I never feel very good when going into Springwood's exams, so I'm a little worried, but I honestly can't think of anything he could put on it that would surprise me. The stuff we're talking about right now is pretty straightforward (whether "race" can be determined by genetics--surprise surprise, it can't), so it shouldn't be too difficult. Still. Stuff like this is hard to study for.
And then after Springwood's exam, I have to hurry back here so I can work on my paper for Lutze. I have an outline for each of the three possible exam questions he gave us, and now I just need to (a) pick one, (b) incorporate the stuff we talked about in class today, and (c) write the damn thing. It's due on Wednesday.. I'm actually feeling pretty good about it.
..and completely off-topic, but I fucking love this song.
웃어봐 하하하 세상 모두가 웃게 될거야
Try laughing, hahaha, everyone in the world will end up laughing
울어봐 엉엉엉 결국 너혼자 울게 될거야
Try crying, wah wah wah, in the end you’ll end up crying alone
지친 그대여 울지말고 일어나 웃어요
Tired you, instead of crying get up and smile
지친 그대여 울지말고 더 크게 맘껏 웃어 Smile!
Tired you, instead of crying smile as much as you want Smile!
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
세상 모두를 가진것처럼
Like you’ve got everything in the world
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
해맑은 너의 웃음을 보여줘
Show us that bright white smile of yours
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
세상 모두가 웃을때까지
Until everyone in the world smiles
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
그래 우리 함께 활짝 웃어요
Yes smile widely together with us
웃어봐 하하하 세상이 더욱 예뻐질꺼야
Try laughing hahaha the world will grow all the more prettier
웃어봐 하하하 당신을 더욱 사랑할꺼야
Try laughing hahaha I will love you all the more
지친 그대여 울지말고 일어나 웃어요
Tired you, instead of crying get up and smile
지친 그대여 울지말고 더 크게 맘껏 웃어 Smile!
Tired you, instead of crying smile as much as you want Smile!
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
세상 모두를 가진것처럼
Like you’ve got everything in the world
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
해맑은 너의 웃음을 보여줘
Show us that bright white smile of yours
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
세상 모두가 웃을때까지
Until everyone in the world smiles
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
그래 우리 함께 활짝 웃어요
Yes smile widely together with us
누군가 우릴 뭐라한대도
Even if someone says something about us
누군가 우릴 무시한대도
Even if someone ignores us
누군가 우릴 떠나간대도
Even if someone leaves us
세상이 그댈 속일지라도
Even if the world deceives us
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
세상 모두를 가진것처럼
Like you’ve got everything in the world
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
해맑은 너의 웃음을 보여줘
Show us that bright white smile of yours
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
세상 모두가 웃을때까지
Until everyone in the world smiles
(웃어 웃어 더 크게 웃어)
(Smile, smile, even bigger smile)
그래 우리 함께 활짝 웃어요
Yes smile widely together with us
I'm not as shallow as people think I am, but I have a hard time convincing them otherwise. I'm smart and I know it, but I find it difficult to compose my thoughts in time for others to understand that. I don't think I'll ever be considered witty until I can stop time long enough to think of a suitable comeback.
I wish my life was more interesting. I guess it's up to me to make it so.
