And then Kara's brain exploded from AWESOME!

Music: JJ Lin - 主角 (feat. MACHI) (Leader)
Mood: excited

(Poster for the event fangirled about below. From One Korea.)

OHMYGOD.

October 30th. Chicago.

A concert featuring none other than Brian (ex-Fly to the Sky), Kil Gun, and Soy. (I actually don't know who Soy is, but she's one of the acts.)

..BRIAN!

My love for Brian is fairly quiet and nowhere near as exuberant as my love for his boyband counterparts. Still, I love that kid. I love his voice and his personality and his sense of humour and his darling baby face. I want him to be my ridiculous and embarrassing older brother, and have him introduce me to ridiculous and embarrassing things. Spending time with him would be a laugh a minute.

For those of you who don't know, Brian was one half of the power duo Fly to the Sky (the other half was Mr. Voice, Hwanhee/Fany). Although he wasn't "the voice" of the group, I've always loved the way he sounds, and I was sad when the duo split up. Apparently I missed his solo release back in 2006, but I recently discovered it and have been listening to it on repeat. He's not a power balladeer, but his vocal talents aren't unrespectable.

Brian is also hilarious. He was born in NYC, so he speaks fluent English (which has gotten less fluent the longer he's lived in Korea), and he has a silly sense of humour.

And now, he's holding a concert in the States. In Chicago. The day before Halloween. FOR FREE.

Kil Gun is also going to be there, and while I'm not really familiar with her work, what I have heard is AMAZING. That lady's got a killer voice, and awesome dance moves.

(I have no idea who Soy is, so let's just move on.)

..I am SO GOING.

There's also an after party at a club in downtown Chicago, and JayJ and I have already decided we're going to that too. I doubt we'll see Brian there (there's both a private and a public section of the club, and he'll probably be in the former), but it'll be exciting to even have a possibility of seeing him there. And even if we don't see him, clubbing is fun!

I don't know who else I'd get to go with me, though. JayJ can't make it to the concert, and I don't want to go alone, but the only other person I can think of who might be interested is Mae, and she's in Korea (lucky whore). I might be able to convince Ginger to come, if only for the after party aspect (she used to go clubbing in Japan and misses it), but I'm not sure. Princess is another possibility, but her medication means she can't drink, and she doesn't really know anything about Kpop beyond TVXQ.

It's less than a week until the concert, though, so I really need to start asking people.


..not right now, though. Right now I need to finish my history paper which is due tomorrow.

(Code)names to remember

Since I've taken to using codenames in my blog posts, I think it's only fair to provide a rundown of these people so you guys don't get confused.

Alphabetized by codename. Click on the name for the first mention of this person in this blog. If there's no link, it means I haven't written about them yet. No worries, I'll probably mention them sooner or later.

(Note that not everyone has a codename. This is probably because I'm lazy.)


Battle Axe - Bear's friend. Used to go to my uni, then transferred to the other one in town. Nice, but loud and lacking a tense of tact or appropriateness. Has a crush on Mezzo.

Bear - Casually dated my old roommate for awhile. I met him again a year later, then went on one date with him. Despite interest on his part, I felt nothing and let it die.

Cheese - My friend who is possibly an even pickier eater than I am. Crazy fun and a barrel of laughs. She graduated the year before me, but I still keep in touch with her.

Ginger - My first friend from uni, whom I stalked on facebook before we even moved in freshman year. She became one of my best friends since that day, and I often confide in her about things I can't tell to anyone else. Roomed with JayJ during sophomore year, and planning on rooming with her again next semester.

Hawkeye - A classmate I developed a mild crush on. Younger than me, but cute. Not much else to say at the moment.

Hyunwoo Sun - Not actually a person in my life, but a fellow language-addict from Korea whose Twitter and various blogs I follow. He's crazy awesome with the languages, and I hope to be even partially as awesome as him in the future.

Jang Ji-young - My Korean teacher during uni. She only teaches on Saturdays, but I enjoy talking to her, and I find her Iranian husband and halfie children fascinating.

JayJ - Gorgeous Korean-American friend who has introduced me to a lot of Korean culture. Currently student teaching in Chicago. Roomed with Ginger during sophomore year, and planning on rooming with her again next semester.

Kip - Korean guy living in Chicago I met through an online dating site. Quirky and fun, and quickly becoming one of my good friends. May have developed feelings for me; I'm still trying to decide how to react. We have a meet-up planned for Thanksgiving break.

Lutze - My favourite professor from uni for a multitude of reasons. His history classes are the highlight of my college career. My goal is to make him proud of me one day.

Mae - Filipino-American friend who I introduced to Kpop way back in the day. I apparently created a monster, because she's more Kpop-obsessed than I am. (I'm more culturally focused, whereas she's more POP-culturally focused.) Currently studying abroad in Korea.

Mezzo - Mezzo-soprano double degree (Music/History) friend from uni. Quirky sense of humour and a tendency to take on way too much stuff. Despite her tendency to whine, she's one of my good friends and I can't imagine college without her.

Penelope/Penny - The purple bicycle my father bought me for my senior year of uni. I haven't had a chance to ride her much yet due to the rain and icky cold, but I intend to do so before it gets icy.

Philosopher - Younger guy I met at a party. I was emotionally moved, but his (sort of) rejection of me via Facebook made me bitter for awhile. I have since gotten over it.

Princess - My best friend since the end of freshman year/beginning of sophomore year. She had some issues during junioir year of uni and had to transfer closer to home, but we still see each other every couple of months.

Rita - My current housemate, and a close friend I've known since freshman year. A little flighty and drama-ridden, but entertaining. She's just as cuddly as I am, which is a plus. Best friends with Snake.

Snake - The housemate I'm quickly growing to hate. She's Rita's best friend, and I only agreed to rent a house with her because I wanted to live with Rita. Probably has no idea how much I dislike her. I'm trying not to let her ruin my senior year.

Springwood - An excellent professor from uni. His offhand declaration that I will write a bestselling novel or award-winning screenplay has spurred me to improve my writing and hopefully get published. This amuses me because he's an anthropology professor.

Totes - My Vocal Performance major roommate from freshman and sophomore year, with whom I share a ridiculous amount in common. Had some emotional issues during junior year which caused her to transfer to a uni closer to home. I don't keep in touch with her nearly as much as I should. Her mother and mine are now close friends. So codenamed due to an inside joke. (Rhymes with "goats.")

Violinist - Princess' roommate for junior year. Violinist is a year younger than us, but very sweet. I had Japanese classes with her boyfriend for a year, and now am in one of Lutze's history classes with her.

Whittles - My roommate from junior year. Awesomely brilliant English major who went to New York to do a publishing course post-graduation. Also, TALL. She introduced me to Doctor Who and BBC dramas, and I repaid the favour by introducing her to Korean dramas. I think it was an even trade.

Yogi - Awesome guy I met through an online dating site. We talked to each other for 12 hours straight when we met, and soon arranged a date. (Will be updated after our date.)

Reason #478954798435039 why I'd rather live alone

Music: Casker - 향 (Scent)
Mood: annoyed

(JJ wants to try living in these houses one day. I'd like to join him.)

I have a pet peeve. This pet peeve has a name. It's called Snake.

..okay, so Snake is one of my housemates. (Codename derived from one of those name meaning websites.)

Seriously, she drives me craaaaaaaaazy.

Fickle is as fickle does..

Watching: Bones, "The Man In the SUV" (there's a Bones marathon on right now)
Mood: concerned

(I find persimmons disgusting, but I like this picture. From the Chosun Ilbo.)

Hrm. Dilemma.

I didn't see Bear at all last weekend because I had a paper for anthropology which kept me busy. And honestly, I was glad of it.

It's exhausting, avoiding people. And I have no rational reason for avoiding him except that I have absolutely no interest in this and I don't want to lead him on or anything.

So, back to my dilemma.

He texted me sometime today, asking how I would feel if he cooked dinner for me this coming Friday.

..how do I let him down easy? I don't want to hurt him, because he's a nice guy, but I don't want to make him hate me.

I suck at confrontation. Gah.


Besides, I'm developing a crush on another guy. And by "developing," I mean "have already developed."

It's a mild crush, considering we've only ever really interacted two or three times. He's in my history class, and he sits directly across the room from me (we're arranged in a semi-circle). I always catch him looking in my direction, and while sometimes I know he's looking at me (it's a natural human reaction, since I watch people too), I don't know if it's deliberate or just his attention wandering.

But anyway. We were paired up in class together last week to prepare for a class discussion on a document, and he seems really nice. I feel like he's shy too, haha. :P And yesterday when I was working on my anthro paper in the library, he was there working on the history paper we have due on Friday. I didn't realize it was him when I sat down (he was facing away from me and had changed his shirt since class that morning), but he recognized me and came over to say hello. We even chatted for a little while about our papers, and then quietly settled into companionable silence near each other as we worked.

We also passed each other on the sidewalk today. He was walking with another girl (they didn't seem overly close, so I'm guessing they're just friends), but we smiled and said hi to each other before going on our way.

I don't know. He's younger than me, but he's cute, and he speaks up in class more than I do. Violinist has another class with him, and she says he's really nice. (I also think he's a transfer student, because I'd never seen him before this year. Hrm.)

Whatevs. I doubt anything will come of it. This is just me being me.

However, just for the sake of my love of code names, and because I'll probably mention him at least once more before the end of the semester, I'm going to dub him..Hawkeye. (I don't know him well enough to give him a distinctive one of his own, so I resorted to this Codename Generator. I know, I'm lame awesome.)

1st Thoughts: "sex" vs. "making love"

Music: 이승기 (Lee Seung-gi) - 꽃처럼 (Like a Flower)

Mood: thoughtful

(You know you like it.)

Ever since my "date" with Bear, I've been trying not to think too much. I still don't know how I feel about him, and I tend to retreat into myself in uncomfortable situations like that. This is a terrible habit of mine, and one I'm working to break, but in the meantime I'm probably alienating a lot of people (including Bear).

I'm starting to think I don't want to pursue anything with him. It's not that I don't enjoy hanging out with him, but I don't really feel anything towards him when I'm not in his immediate vicinity.

I could see myself living a life with him, but it wouldn't be a very exciting life, and it would mean giving up several things which are important to me (all of which require moving to Korea after graduation). I don't want to do that for anyone.. If I'm not happy with myself, how can I be happy with someone else?

I don't know. Maybe I'll change my mind later, but that's how I'm feeling right now. In fact, I'm even sneakily pre-loading my weekend schedule so I can feasibly claim to be too busy if/when he wants to hang out again.

I'm a terrible person.

But is it wrong that I want passion and excitement? I want to be swept off my feet. I want drama and fights and making up and adventures and miscommunication, not a slow courtship. I often joke to Rita that I'll start out hating my future husband and eventually be won over by him as we're thrown together again and again, but I'm starting to think that it's true. (Perhaps I've been watching too many Korean dramas, but I was like this even back in high school.)


On the subject of Bear, a little while ago I recalled something he had said during our "date".. I don't remember what we were talking about, but the topic of sex came up very casually (no insinuations or anything, but it was related to our discussion at the time). I don't have a problem with this, but he referred to it as "making love."

.."making love."

..is it wrong that I don't like that turn of phrase?

As a female, I'm supposed to prefer that over the more "vulgar" term "sex"--at least, people tell me I should. But that's not the case at all. I hate that term. Why not just call it like it is? Sex is vulgar. It's two people (or three or four or twenty) grunting and sweating and fusing their bodies for a brief span of time as they swap bodily fluids and (hopefully) get each other (or at least themselves) off. It's not a terribly beautiful act. Fun, yes. Energizing and exhausting, yes. Intimate, sure--in the same way that sharing any information about your bodily functions is intimate. Just because I'm comfortable enough with you to divulge all the details and secrets of, say, my menstrual cycle doesn't make it beautiful.

I suppose the "beauty" aspect comes in because you're supposed to be revealing your most vulnerable, naked self (both literally and figuratively). For some people, this may be true, but I have never felt particularly vulnerable when engaging in sexual acts.

Perhaps this makes me sound like I'm promiscuous. I'm not at all. In fact, I'm more of a "prude" (to paraphrase my mother) than most people I know. I've had two partners in my life. (I'll probably discuss both of them in a later entry, since they helped shape who I am.) Neither one has made me feel like sex was anything other than a fun, recreational activity. Sure, I liked the guys--I never would've slept with them otherwise--but I never felt a deeper connection with them while mid-coitus than otherwise. (Perhaps I just haven't been with the right guy, but that's a thought for another day.)

For me, sex is a bonus of relationships--I don't need it. I'd like it, sure, but it's not my first priority. In fact, I tend to withhold it rather than sleep around, because it encourages guys to get to know me first instead of just going straight for my pants. If they're unwilling to go through that step, then obviously they're not worth my time. Besides, "making love" is just such an awkward term. You don't make love through sex; you make love through an emotional connection with another person. I'm more tactile than most people, but even I will be the first to tell you that my emotions have little to do with my sense of touch or a person's ability to make me orgasm.

What does all of this have to do with Bear? To be honest, nothing really. It's just that I suddenly recalled what he'd said, and it made me think.

This is also the first time I've ever expressed my opinion on this subject, so it may not be entirely coherent. I apologize if this is the case.

A day in the life -- Take 1

Music: SHINee - Ring Ding Dong

Mood: all over the place

(Most cracktastically awesome show ever.)

Yesterday was a narcoleptic day.

My anthropology class is (finally!) back in session, so I had class at 9.30 in the morning. I'm not used to waking up that early anymore, so I was a few minutes late for class. A lot of other people were apparently having the same problem, though, so I wasn't the only one.

Afterwards, I decided to go to the library to work on my anthropology paper (I have to read a book and do a critical review of it). 20 minutes after I entered the library, I laid my head down..and woke up 2 hours later. Wow.

So I went back home to eat lunch and hopefully get back to work on my paper. Unfortunately, I discovered a Doctor Who marathon on BBC America. Whittles is a huge fan of Doctor Who, but I'd always avoided it--I have too many addictions already. Still, it was so wonderfully cheesy, and David Tennant is so dorkily awesome that I couldn't tear my eyes away.

Rita eventually joined me and suggested we go clothes shopping.. We went to the mall for pajama pants, but I got a cute zebra-esque top for going out instead. (Now I just need to get a cute black jacket to go with it and I'll be all set for fall!)

After we came back home, we made some pizza, then turned on the Disney channel to watch Aladdin. Damn, I love that movie. You wouldn't have guessed that if you'd seen me, though, because I fell asleep just after Aladdin wishes to be a prince. I didn't wake up until the end of the movie, when Rita decided she needed to go to the library, and I fell asleep again immediately after she left. I then slept for the next two hours.

I'm not sure why I was so tired all day.. I didn't miss much sleep the night before.


Today I have my midterm for Chinese.. I should probably be studying, but instead I'm watching the magic that is Wife Swap. Trashy families, yay~

"What will it take to make or break this hint of love? / Only time.."

Music: Owl City - The Saltwater Room
Mood: giddy

("In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.")

Took Bear up on his offer and went to go hang out at Battle Axe's apartment (where Bear is staying for the weekend) to watch a movie and stuff.

There was fun, laughter, conversation, singing, and Boondock Saints.

He also finally put his arm around my shoulders, 1 1/2 hours after I got there.

It stayed there for another hour.

He drove me home at around 1am.

Walked me to the door like a gentleman.

And asked permission to kiss me goodnight.

I said yes.

..his lips are soft.

"If you awake before we arrive I will carry you down and I won't make a sound."

Music: Owl City - Air Traffic
Mood: confused

(Possibly Taiwan? Stolen from JJ Lin.)

You know that saying, "When it rains it pours"?

I'm sort of living that right now.

I'm still not completely over that whole mess of emotion that I wrote about previously, but it's faded enough for me to be open to other things. Which is good, since something I never saw coming is happening.

So. My roommate from last year (whom I'll call Whittles) had a pseudo-boyfriend for a few weeks during the fall semester. (I'm going to call him Bear, since he reminds me of a teddy bear.) I got to meet him a couple of times, and I instantly took a platonic liking to him--after all, he sort of belonged to my roommate, even though they were only casually dating. I thought he was a really nice guy, though, and I genuinely enjoyed his company. After my roommate called it off, though, I decided not to pursue a real friendship with him because (a) that's awkward, (b) I would never really see him around on campus anyway, and (c) I was distracted by drama in my own life at the time.

Well, one of my friends had a potluck last night. Rita made broccoli, while I made my fool-gogi again, and we headed over there expecting it to be mostly people connected only through this friend. To my surprise, though, I heard that Bear was coming and bringing a friend. I was excited, since he graduated last year and I thought I wasn't going to see him again, so I hugged him rather enthusiastically when he arrived.

Dinner went wonderfully (everyone loved my fool-gogi, including Bear), and we all parted on really good terms. After I got home, I posted a message on his Facebook wall saying that we need to hang out and stuff, so today he suggested that we go see a movie with some of the people from the potluck last night. I agreed, so I called up some people, including last night's hostess (Violinist) and our friend Mezzo (who's a mezzo-soprano). We all decided to go see Zombieland (which is made of awesome, in case you were wondering), so I drove the girls and Bear drove himself and his friend Battle Axe (another pseudonym).

At the theatre, I sat between Bear and Mezzo, while Violinist sat on the other side of Bear and Battle Axe sat in front of us. The theatre was entirely empty except for one other guy who sat in front by himself, so we were all loud and irreverent and goofy throughout the entire movie. We even ended up switching seats a few times due to our shenanigans, but I always ended up next to Bear. I'm an extremely jumpy moviegoer, so I spent a lot of time cowering behind my sweater or into Bear's shoulder. He didn't seem to mind, though, and although I knew that what I was doing could be construed as flirting (and I suppose it technically was, since I literally flirt with everyone) I did nothing to rein myself in.

The flirtation continued after the movie, when I hugged Bear and Battle Axe goodbye by hanging from their necks--I often do this with tall people regardless of gender, but I also use it to flirt because it's extended contact. Bear and I raced our cars somewhat dangerously back to campus, where I eventually lost him after dropping off Mezzo and Violinist.

When I got back home to make dinner for myself and Rita (the movie was an early showing), the flirtation continued via text, as we joked about how he only had 1 1/2 dimples (which I've never noticed and need to confirm with my own eyes) and how I was more than welcome to play with them. He said that my proposed action of pinching his cheeks was kinky, to which I replied that he must be really repressed. He replied that I was welcome to find out just how repressed he was, and then I (unintentionally) killed it by just telling him "We'll see."

So. I don't know what I'm feeling. Do I actually like him, or am I just giddy about seeing someone I'd liked (platonically) and hadn't seen in a long time?

Pros: Tall (at least 6'1"), funny, musical (he's a music teacher), understands my sense of humour, makes me feel comfortable, cuddly, seems to be interested, comes into town fairly frequently, already knows a lot of my (musically-inclined) friends.
Cons: Already graduated and in the real world, working ~2 hours away from me, a little on the heavy side physically, previously dated my old roommate (whom I'm still really close with), may or may not still be attached to his girlfriend before her.

He's staying with Battle Axe this weekend, and he's invited me to come hang out with them some more after I finish my homework if I want.

I..don't know what to do. On the one hand, I want to take him up on his offer and spend more time with him, but on the other hand I don't know if I actually feel something for him or if I'm just (a) rebounding off of Philosopher or (b) desperate.

..although I suppose I should finish my homework first before I try to figure it out.


Also, according to Battle Axe, I'm either a bunny or a sparrow. I'm going to go with the former.

아직 한국에서 한글날여서... / Since it's already Hangul Day in Korea..

Music: Oldfish - 산들바람을 타고 (Riding on the Wind)
Mood: bored


이건 선현우씨의 한국날 비디어 콜라주 이다! (재 써는 인사는 1:55에서 이에요.)

This is Hyunwoo Sun's Hangul Day video collage! (The greeting I wrote is at 1:55.)

"It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep / Because my dreams are bursting at the seams.."

Music: Owl City - Fireflies
Mood: accomplished

(My greeting for Hangul Day.)
(재 한글날 인사.)

(Forgive my childish Korean and even more childish English translation. I'm learning, 'kay?

Also, all links in the Korean section are for the Korean Wiki articles, while all links in the English sections are for the English Wiki articles. For comparison. ^^)


우앗! 아얼 시티는 너무 좋아~~

지금 비 와요. 아주 마~않이.

재가 비 좋아하지만, 비 와는 동안 집에 가는 것 실어요. ㅠ_ㅠ

오늘 크래스를 지워 버렸어요. 선생님 몸이 좋지 않이고, 그 아들은 H1N1 해요. 크래스에 안 가는 것 좋아하지만, 선생님도 선생님의 가족을 걱정시켜요.

아까 전 도서관에서 중국 역사를 공부하고 있었어요. 마오 제동의 "Four Essays on Philosophy"를 읽고 있었고, 다른 책을 나중에 읽꺼예요. 재밌지만, 전 지금은 아주 많이 피곤해서 골몰 못 해요.

내일 한글날 이에요! 1446에서 세종대왕은 한글을 창조했어요. 한글 있어서, 중국의 한자의 필요 없었어요. 그래서, 10월 9일에 한국인들이 한글날을 축하해요.

어제 한국인 블로거 선현우씨는 블로그하고 유튭에서 한글날 인사 모였다고, 나중에 비디어 콜라주를 만들꺼예요. 재가 한글날 인사 썼어서, 기다리세요! ㅎㅎㅎ

..그런데, 전 왜 이렇게 한국말에 잘 쓸 수 있어요? 한국어 레슨은 토요일에 만 있는데, 중국어 보다 너무 좋아요. ㅎㅎㅎㅎ

그리고, 재 한글은 너무 예뻐요~ :3 안인가?

우앗, 진짜 많이 썼어요, 지금은.


Wah! I love Owl City~~

It's raining right now. Lots.

I like rain, but I hate walking home while it's raining. ;_;

Class was canceled today. Our professor is sick, and his son has H1N1. I like not going to class, but I'm worried about my professor and his family.

I was in the library studying for Chinese history just now, reading Mao's "Four Essays on Philosophy." Later, I'll read some other stuff. It's interesting, but right now I'm tired and can't concentrate.

Tomorrow is Hangul Day! In 1446, King Sejong the Great developed hangul; because of this, Koreans didn't need to use Chinese hanja anymore, which is why they celebrate Hangul Day on October 9th.

Yesterday, Korean blogger Hyunwoo Sun collected greetings for Hangul Day on his blog and Youtube, and later he'll be making a video collage out of them. I wrote one as well, so please look forward to it, haha!

..how can I write so well in Korean? I only have Korean lessons on Saturdays, but my Korean is much better than my Chinese. LOL.

And my hangul is so preeeetty, isn't it? :3

Wow, I really wrote a lot just now.


(Yes, it's short, but my vocabulary is fairly limited for the things I want to say, and it's a pain choosing the correct words when my dictionary isn't terribly clear. I'll write more at length some other day.)

"Why don't you care when it's plain to see / your heart is all I need?"

Music: Jeff Darcy - Heartbreaker (G-Dragon English cover)
Mood: angry and bruised

(A metaphor for my inner turmoil?)

So, remember how I said I knew he wasn't slighting me because he hadn't been on Facebook in awhile?

Well. He was on Facebook today. I know this because he posted things on his wall. He also silently rejected my friend request.

..who does that?!

I'm trying so hard to wrap my head around this concept. I thought.. I mean, I was under the impression.. Well, wasn't he interested in me?

My ego is so bruised right now. I know I'd only met him the once, but I thought there was something there.

Did I inadvertently drive him away? Was he never interested in the first place? If he wasn't interested to begin with, why did he keep asking Rita about me at B-House, and go out of his way to drag me out of my shell? He's the one who approached me. He's the one who asked me to dance. He's the one who invited me to sit next to him outside at B-House, who took my hand when we went back inside. He's the one who had the intense look in his eyes as we danced. He's the one who told Rita I was cute, who..

Maybe he's just one of those people who doesn't add someone as a friend until they've gotten to know them a little better. Even if that's true, wouldn't you still add someone you were somewhat interested in, in order to get to know them better?

He started all of this. If he hadn't been so darn sweet and nice and cute and likable, I wouldn't had thought about him so much and gotten to this point.

God, Kara. It's been all of two days since you met him. TWO DAYS. I don't think you fell for your last crushes this quickly. In fact, I don't think you've ever fallen this quickly.

What is happening to me?

"Let's talk and we'll fill the air with imagery that lasts forever.."

Music: Azure Ray - If You Fall
Mood: over-thinking

(Visitors look around a pinwheel field at Imjingak Pyeonghoa Nuri Park in Paju, Gyeonggi Province on Sunday, the last day of the Chuseok or Korean Thanksgiving holidays. Courtesy of the Chosun Ilbo.)

My brain needs to stop going into hyperdrive right now. Seriously, STOP. I've been checking Facebook all day, hoping he's added me back. He hasn't yet, but he also doesn't appear to have been on Facebook at all since last Thursday, so I'm fairly certain he's not slighting me.

ACK. What if I'm the only one working myself up about this? Sure, he seemed interested at the party, but what if decided he wasn't interested after all after he got home, or worse, forgot all about me? Surely if he was interested, he would've jumped on Facebook and sent me a friend request. Right?

I broke down and told Laura about it over AIM, after swearing her to secrecy. Turns out they're sort-of friends (they have mutual friends, and they've eaten meals together a few times). In her words, he's "pretty adorable" and "genuinely a nice guy," which makes me slightly less nervous about having possibly misjudged him. And he's a runner, which is always a plus (I have a mild thing for runners). Although, according to her, he's "slightly shy-ish," whatever that means. Do I have to be proactive here? Do I have to go drop hints somewhere (i.e. tell Rita and let her gossip to the world) to let him know it's okay to make a move? Because that's really not my style.. I'd much prefer to just flirt whenever we're together and hope he gets the hint that way. Bah.

Laura also has a crush on a junior guy (who happens to be friends with my new crush), which is funny because she graduated this past year. I told her we were like cougars; she approved.

She's also coming into town for Halloween, which should be epic. We had a blast together last year, even though she had a broken foot at the time. This year promises to be equally awesome, largely because (a) Rita and I are gonna be dressing sexy, and (b) because all three of us have guys in mind this time around. :P Plus, Halloween falls on a Saturday this year, which means that there are going to be some craaaaaazy parties. We'll probably hit up two or three of the big ones, unless there's a smaller one going on at B-House or something. I'm hoping I run into him at one of these parties, so I can work my magic on him. I'll be looking sexy and cute, dammit! I want him to appreciate it. (I bought the costume before I met him, but now I'm glad I went with this one. Might give me an edge in the seduction, muahaha.)

Dammit. How did this change from mild interest in a sorta-cute and really nice guy to a full-fledged crush? This is what happens when I allow my brain to run unchecked.

Anyway. Parties (and boy) aside.

Our landlord came over this morning to check out our fuses. I was asleep, so Lynn handled him. He showed us where the fuse box was and got the power running again, but the heat still doesn't work. He's supposed to send someone tomorrow (today) to fix it.. I hope so, because it's ridiculously cold in every room but mine.

And now I need to churn out a quick one-page thought piece for Lutze's class tomorrow. I've been putting it off all weekend, boo.

이제부터, 그 사람을 생각 할꺼 않아요.

진짜야. 정말이야.

...그렇게 믿고 싶어요.

"Watch the sun, watch the moon, taking turns in the same sky.."

Music: Maria Taylor - Time Lapse Lifeline
Mood: confused

(We painted a version of this on our suite windows sophomore year. We were awesome.)

So today was..interesting.

Had my Korean lesson today, where we mostly talked about the places my classmates have traveled and how I need to travel while I'm still young and relatively carefree.

Afterwards, I grabbed some stuff from the library for paper-writing later and came home to eat lunch and hang out with Rita. We both decided we were sick of being so cold all the time, so we went to buy space heaters.

While we were out, we went costume shopping. Annnndddd..I totally bought a costume. I'm some sort of sexy devil or something. It's modest enough to work with my self-consciousness, while still sexy enough that I don't feel like a prude. Plus, it's red, and I look good in it. :P I can't wait for Halloween~~~

I also picked up the first season of Big Bang Theory, so Rita and I spent the next several hours watching it. (So good! I love Sheldon..)

And then, for the main part.. There was a party at B-House (B-House = Bulgaria House) tonight, so Rita and I showed up somewhere around 11.30. There weren't many people I knew there, so I mostly sat around awkwardly and tried not to follow Rita like a puppy.

Apparently, though, being a wallflower is intriguing to some guys, because I got hit on. By a sweet, kinda cute junior.

Hrmmmm.

I don't usually go for younger guys, but he was really sweet, and pretty interesting, and pretty into me. (I'm not being an egotist; he kept telling Rita how pretty I was and how he just wanted to talk with me and dance with me and stuff.) I feel a little bad, because (a) I'm not good in situations where I don't know most of the group, and (b) I think he may have felt like I was blowing him off because I didn't want to dance. (I DID want to dance! I just.. I'm too self-conscious to dance when no one else is dancing. Because really, it was just the two of us, and everyone else was sitting down.) He retreated outside a little while later to smoke (ew!) with some people, and I wanted so badly to join him without being obvious.. So I followed Rita out there, haha. And he seemed glad to see me, and asked me to sit down and chat with him, so I did. And it was nice, until we went back inside to escape from some drunken people and I lost him. I got trapped into conversations with other people and couldn't find an excuse to go talk to him again, even though he was literally sitting right next to me. I didn't really get a chance to talk to him for the rest of the night, because he left soon after.


Pros: Interesting, nice, intelligent, tall, seems to like me, kinda cute (not my usual type, but not bad), philosophy major (I like philosophy).
Cons: Younger than me, smoker (I could forgive it if I really grew to like him, but I still don't care for it), don't really know him.

GAH. I'm over-thinking this. A lot. I know I am. It's a guy I met once, and I never gave him (or anyone) any indication that I was really interested in him. (Because I'm not. Am I? I don't know..)

Grr. Argh. Why am I so passive?

I did send him a friend request on Facebook though, so..maybe? Who knows? Gah. Whatever.


Sleep now. We blew a fuse or something in our house, so the only rooms with any power are my room and my bathroom. Our landlord is sending someone over tomorrow (today?) morning, so I should probably sleep so I can be awake enough to talk to him tomorrow.

"If my life is mine what shouldn't I do?"

Music: Metric - Help I'm Alive [ download ]
Mood: sleepy

(You know you love him.)

Title of today's post taken from today's song. I quite enjoy Metric. (And I like one fan's interpretation of this song as Emily (the singer) being chased by zombies. LOLZ.)

COLD. Very, very cold. Extremely cold, you might say.

Well, I'm a wuss, so maybe you wouldn't say. Although really, 64 degrees INSIDE is pretty cold. (It's 55 degrees outside.) We have the thermostat set to 69/70-ish, but it's not heating up enough. Coooooold~ *whines*

I'm sick again, which isn't fun. It's not the same as my last illness, though.. This one is mostly manifesting itself in a rather annoying cough (and I'm pretty sure there's more fluid in my lungs than last time) and me getting tired faster, but whatever. Better than a couple of weeks ago, when I just wanted to die.

Rita's started smoking again. She's been doing it off and on since high school, apparently. I've taken it upon myself to yell at her everytime I smell it on her, which she doesn't really like. Still, I figure that if she's allowed to yell at Mike for smoking, I'm allowed to yell at her for the same thing. (Double standards are unacceptable, Rita. Although now she and Mike are smoking buddies, which appears to defeat the purpose.) Lynn apparently also smokes, which I didn't know until Rita told me. Thinking back on it, though, it doesn't really surprise me. Still, Lynn's a nursing major. She should know better, no?

I made bulgogi (불고기) for dinner (for myself) last week. Or rather, "fool-gogi" ("바보"고기?), since the recipe I used isn't really authentic. I think it's an approximation. :P Plus, I didn't have any rice wine, so I used apple juice for the marinade. (The acidity in both tenderizes the meat, but apple juice gives it a slightly sweeter flavour.) I actually liked the apple juice in the marinade, so I think I might do it this way more often. I did oversalt the fool-gogi a little, but that's because the piece I taste-tested apparently didn't get ANY salt somehow, so I overcompensated. -_-; Ah well. Rita liked it anyway (she tried a piece), so she made me make it again yesterday.

Second time was definitely the charm. I invited Mel over to (a) help me prepare and (b) hang out, since I hadn't seen her in awhile (I overslept and missed class on Tuesday). I had gotten up early-ish and marinated the beef before class, so it had had around 6 hours to marinate and the only things left to prepare were the broccoli for the side dish and the onions for the bulgogi. I cut way back on the pepper in the marinade--the recipe called for 3 tablespoons (!!!), which is way too much--and used more sugar than last time. I also waited to add the salt until actually cooking the meat, which helped a lot. It turned out really well--both Mel and Rita loved it. I think it's the first time since we've moved into this house that we've finished everything on the table with nothing left over. I'll definitely have to make it again. Maybe I'll even introduce it at home, since bulgogi is really mild and it was really easy to make. (Seriously, if I can make it with my limited cooking experience, pretty much anyone can make it.)

Cough. Hack. Cough. Illness interlude.

Anyway. I did end up finishing that history paper. I wrote most of it the night before it was due, so I only had the conclusion to do in the morning when I woke up. I actually went a page over the limit, though, so I had to rearrange paragraphs and trim sentences and shrink margins in order to make everything fit. It was..annoying, haha. But I did it! Hopefully I didn't accidentally cut out any key points or anything; I'm always afraid of doing that. I think it went well on the whole, though, and I can't wait to get it back so I can see how I did.

In other news, I think I know what I want to get my Masters in--Korean History. "But what happened to Translation?" you ask. (Well, maybe you don't ask. That's okay, I'll ask for you.)

Well..to be honest, I love history. I've always loved history. AP U.S. History and AP European History were two of my favourite classes in high school (largely because of the awesome Coach Carter as our teacher, but also because I enjoyed the subject), and it's consistently been one of my favourite subjects in college (not just because I think Prof. Lutze is awesome, either). Asian history fascinates me in ways that European history never has, and Korean history is especially intriguing. Perhaps it's because I haven't formally learned anything about Korean history other than how it used to be a Chinese colony, then got stolen by the Japanese, then became independent--in about that much detail. Or perhaps it's because I find the Joseon period (1392-1910) endlessly interesting. (The Goryeo period (918-1392) is interesting as well, but not to the same degree.)

(The reason I'm an International Studies major is because I entered college with the idea that I would be a translator or a subtitler, and I wasn't as in love with Korea then as I am now. Besides, the History program here mostly focuses on European or American history, and my interests have always run more towards Asia. Still, sometimes I wish I'd been a history major instead.)

The question is, what would I do with this degree? Especially in Korea, where any Korean with the same Masters would automatically seem more suitable for any job. I could probably find a job at a museum in the States, but how easy would it be for me to do the same in Korea? Because I still plan on living there for the rest of my life, or at least until something happens to change my mind. (Just watch me marry another foreigner and get whisked back to his native country with him. Just watch.)

I'm currently reading Edgar Snow's classic Red Star Over China for Lutze's class, and while I find it interesting, I also can't decide whether or not I think Snow is objective or a Mao fanboy. I'm leaning towards the latter. We're supposed to write a critical review of either this book or William H. Hinton's Fanshen, and I'm thinking about doing it on this book (Fanshen hasn't really done anything for me so far). But whatever, we'll see.

On the subject of Lutze's class, I need to finish my reading for that now.. The homework isn't due until Monday, but there's a lot more reading for this week than usual, so I need to get at least half of it done for tomorrow. Argh. I adore this man and his class, but he assigns SO MUCH READING. (My fault for not staying on top of things.)

So. Off to Reading Land.